Tag Archives: Alan Daniels

‘The strap requires a more rhythmic delivery’

(An excerpt from my novel Spank: The Improbable Adventure of George Aloysius Brown) Yesterday (how long ago it seemed) the spanking had been random, some soft and caressing, some hard and stinging. I was learning fast. Artfully administered a spanking can last as long as you want. But the strap requires a more rhythmic delivery. […]

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Dieter accounts for his ‘huge erection’

Being the ninth of  occasional excerpts from my erotic comedy Spank: The Improbable Adventures of George Aloysius Brown.  (Part 2/2 Dieter’s trial continues on a charge of indecent exposure) At this point, the court adjourned for its morning break, so that her ladyship, who loves horses even more than birds, could study the Racing Form and mark […]

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How her Ladyship dealt with a rampant member

(Being the 8th occasional excerpt from my novel: Part 1 of 2.)   “All rise!” The usher in charge of decorum at Shoreham-on-Sea Magistrates Court called the public to order as Lady Geraldine Ponsoby-Warmington JP entered Court Room No. 1 with a judicial flourish and settled in her seat behind an imposing wooden dais. It […]

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Jen glanced at the riding crop and then at me

(The sixth of occasional excerpts from my novel) It seemed that we alone were the creatures of the forest. In the open glades we spurred our horses on and they seemed happy to go for a canter, kicking up their hooves at the abundant gorse bushes that smelled vaguely of coconuts. Sebastian was close on […]

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Catherine visits her lover on a Sunday afternoon

(Being the fourth of occasional excerpts from my novel)   Steed undresses while I watch. He removes his kit with that unassailable self-confidence that only truly beautiful people possess. Beneath his tan line his skin is pale, but his cock is almost black. I fight an urge to reach for it, take it in both […]

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Cheers, this round is on me, says Santa

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘hood Nobody was stirring, maybe nobody could; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hope that the brewmaster soon would be there And the drinkers nestled all warm in their snugs Dreaming of cask fermented suds And me at the bar with my […]

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Two questions to ask of your lover

(Being the second of occasional extracts from my novel) When a-punting you go on the river Two things you must know of your lover Has he the arrow To pleasure your furrow And the wit to be quick with his quiver? Limerick by Catherine Mallory Jones   I am going out with a boy from […]

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How Cleopatra Seduced Her Masseur

(Being the first of occasional excerpts from my novel) “Better that you please me,” Cleopatra told him, matter-of-factly. “If you do not I can have you whipped?” “If whipping me should be your pleasure, Highness,” Seth replied, “I will bring you a lash for my back.” Cleopatra smiled inwardly. The boy has wit as well […]

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All Aboard, Mind The Gap

My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, is the founder and first minister of a new religion, which she calls transportism, or possibly transportianity, she’s not sure yet. Perhaps she is awaiting divine intervention. Her epiphany came during a late night journey home from Pimlico to Blackheath involving the London Underground and two changes of […]

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‘Ain’t nothing taste like pie

LONDON – I love pie. I eat them all, from the fanciful four-and-twenty blackbirds, to the exotic crocodile, leek and potato; from the prosaic steak and ale, to the gourmet duck and fig. You bake it, I’ll eat it – the gamier and bushier the better. No one makes pies like the Brits, although there […]

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