My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, is the founder and first minister of a new religion, which she calls transportism, or possibly transportianity, she’s not sure yet. Perhaps she is awaiting divine intervention.
Her epiphany came during a late night journey home from Pimlico to Blackheath involving the London Underground and two changes of bus. Yet despite the distance and complexity of the journey, it took just over thirty minutes door to door.
“There is a God and He works for London Transport ( it’s ok, He has a sense of humour and will understand),” she wrote in an email. “Seamless journey with no waiting time in excess of 30 seconds. Safely home!”
Clearly a Higher Authority was watching over her that night and there is no question in her mind it was a miracle.
Naturally, upon hearing this, I became a convert and, with all the zealotry of the newly faithful, wrote the Transport God’s prayer.
Let us pray.
“Our Father, which art in Blackfriars, Transport be thy name
Thy Buses run. Thy will be done in
Tooting Bec. As it is in Wapping.
Give us this day Our daily Boris
And forgive us our frailties, As we forgive those
Who tread on our toeses. And lead us not into Brixton,
But deliver us from Barking. For thine is the Timetable,
The Night Bus, the Oyster,
For ever and ever.
Therefore let it be known from the highest hills that newly-consecrated Off Peak Church of Transportism (whatever!) is accepting donations. And if you wish to join our joyous congregation, you may board at any door.