Category Archives: Uncategorized

Catherine visits a wheelchair dominatrix

(Being the third of occasional excerpts from my novel) By this time, although the beauty of her work was impressive, I find my thoughts drifting to the rattan, the business end of the product. I remember how it felt to wield it, the empowerment, the swishing sound it makes through the air. I felt suddenly […]

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Two questions to ask of your lover

(Being the second of occasional extracts from my novel) When a-punting you go on the river Two things you must know of your lover Has he the arrow To pleasure your furrow And the wit to be quick with his quiver? Limerick by Catherine Mallory Jones   I am going out with a boy from […]

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How Cleopatra Seduced Her Masseur

(Being the first of occasional excerpts from my novel) “Better that you please me,” Cleopatra told him, matter-of-factly. “If you do not I can have you whipped?” “If whipping me should be your pleasure, Highness,” Seth replied, “I will bring you a lash for my back.” Cleopatra smiled inwardly. The boy has wit as well […]

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All Aboard, Mind The Gap

My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, is the founder and first minister of a new religion, which she calls transportism, or possibly transportianity, she’s not sure yet. Perhaps she is awaiting divine intervention. Her epiphany came during a late night journey home from Pimlico to Blackheath involving the London Underground and two changes of […]

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‘Ain’t nothing taste like pie

LONDON – I love pie. I eat them all, from the fanciful four-and-twenty blackbirds, to the exotic crocodile, leek and potato; from the prosaic steak and ale, to the gourmet duck and fig. You bake it, I’ll eat it – the gamier and bushier the better. No one makes pies like the Brits, although there […]

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One man went to war

    LONDON – He was in his nineties – an old man leaning on his cane, walking slowly down the steps of the Imperial War Museum, one painful step at a time. His clothes were shabby, but I could see as he approached and sat next to me on a bench in the sunshine […]

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Why Hamlet is in need of an upgrade

I am proud to report that out of hundreds of entries, I received an honourable mention in the CBC’s Shakespeare Selfie Challenge. The challenge was to write a soliloquy for a Shakespeare character set in modern times.  But firstly, my congratulations to the winner of the contest, Ruth Daniell for her poem Ophelia, Attending a […]

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Why kinky sex is good for your health

New medical research appears to indicate that people who enjoy so-called ‘kinky sex’ may be psychologically healthier than those who don’t.   According to the Huffington Post, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine surveyed 902 people who practice BDSM and 434 people who do not.  All were volunteers so the results may […]

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Sorry mate, the Jesus guy got the toast

COSTA RICA – The reporter in me is constantly challenged by Twitter’s 140-character format. I feel like a limbo dancer as  the pole gets lower and lower. How much can be said in so few words? For example: can you write a travelog in fewer words than appear on a jar of marmalade? Let’s give […]

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How your wine sends a message to your lover

Ever since Homer wrote about a “wine-dark sea” literature and wine have flowed in tandem down the centuries. In my novel, Spank, my hero George Aloysius Brown and his Balinese wife Pem use their choice of wine as a code, a silent message to each other to convey their sexual desires. It  always added an […]

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