Category Archives: Uncategorized

Catherine visits her lover on a Sunday afternoon

(Being the fourth of occasional excerpts from my novel)   Steed undresses while I watch. He removes his kit with that unassailable self-confidence that only truly beautiful people possess. Beneath his tan line his skin is pale, but his cock is almost black. I fight an urge to reach for it, take it in both […]

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Cheers, this round is on me, says Santa

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘hood Nobody was stirring, maybe nobody could; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hope that the brewmaster soon would be there And the drinkers nestled all warm in their snugs Dreaming of cask fermented suds And me at the bar with my […]

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Catherine visits a wheelchair dominatrix

(Being the third of occasional excerpts from my novel) By this time, although the beauty of her work was impressive, I find my thoughts drifting to the rattan, the business end of the product. I remember how it felt to wield it, the empowerment, the swishing sound it makes through the air. I felt suddenly […]

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Two questions to ask of your lover

(Being the second of occasional extracts from my novel) When a-punting you go on the river Two things you must know of your lover Has he the arrow To pleasure your furrow And the wit to be quick with his quiver? Limerick by Catherine Mallory Jones   I am going out with a boy from […]

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How Cleopatra Seduced Her Masseur

(Being the first of occasional excerpts from my novel) “Better that you please me,” Cleopatra told him, matter-of-factly. “If you do not I can have you whipped?” “If whipping me should be your pleasure, Highness,” Seth replied, “I will bring you a lash for my back.” Cleopatra smiled inwardly. The boy has wit as well […]

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All Aboard, Mind The Gap

My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, is the founder and first minister of a new religion, which she calls transportism, or possibly transportianity, she’s not sure yet. Perhaps she is awaiting divine intervention. Her epiphany came during a late night journey home from Pimlico to Blackheath involving the London Underground and two changes of […]

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‘Ain’t nothing taste like pie

LONDON – I love pie. I eat them all, from the fanciful four-and-twenty blackbirds, to the exotic crocodile, leek and potato; from the prosaic steak and ale, to the gourmet duck and fig. You bake it, I’ll eat it – the gamier and bushier the better. No one makes pies like the Brits, although there […]

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One man went to war

    LONDON – He was in his nineties – an old man leaning on his cane, walking slowly down the steps of the Imperial War Museum, one painful step at a time. His clothes were shabby, but I could see as he approached and sat next to me on a bench in the sunshine […]

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Why Hamlet is in need of an upgrade

I am proud to report that out of hundreds of entries, I received an honourable mention in the CBC’s Shakespeare Selfie Challenge. The challenge was to write a soliloquy for a Shakespeare character set in modern times.  But firstly, my congratulations to the winner of the contest, Ruth Daniell for her poem Ophelia, Attending a […]

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Why kinky sex is good for your health

New medical research appears to indicate that people who enjoy so-called ‘kinky sex’ may be psychologically healthier than those who don’t.   According to the Huffington Post, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine surveyed 902 people who practice BDSM and 434 people who do not.  All were volunteers so the results may […]

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